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Iron Man and She-Hulk

People living in New York City are sometimes given to sights of wonderment, being in the company of such costumed adventurers as the Avengers. Surely the regular citizen could have been used to super heroes walking amongst them. Such was not the case with the She-Hulk, walking down Fifth Avenue right at this very moment, clad in a very exquisite power suit. What made this super heroine different from the rest was that she was the color of jade.

Suddenly, without any warning whatsoever, a man in a leather ensemble intercepted her path, desiring to talk to her in private. “May I have a word with you, She-Hulk?”

“And you are…?” she began to ask, confused as to the true identity of this mysterious stranger.

“That is of no consequence to you. What does matter though is for you to look directly into my eyes.”

“I don’t know what you’re selling, buddy, but I—I—“

“And do what, Shulkie? What do you want to do?”

Before she could respond, before she was completely under his spell, the jade giantess could almost swear that there was a glow within this man’s eyes.

“I hate everything,” she said. “I want to kill everybody.”

“Well, She-Hulk, don’t let me stop you. By all means…”

As the She-Hulk prepared to lash out at everything that had irked her in her entire life, the leather-clad man turned to a green costumed monstrosity from another dimension, waiting within the shadows.

“Everything is going exactly according to plans, my master!”

The alien smiled. “Yes, it is, isn’t it?”

Nearby, Iron Man soared overhead the surrounding area, patrolling because he had received word under an hour ago of a major disturbance taking place. Not just any disturbance but one of a super powered nature. By the way that the police officer over the police band reported the news it sounded suspiciously like the works of that former Avenger, the Incredible Hulk, but that sounded unlikely. New York was rarely the Hulkster’s territory and random destruction was not his modus operandi. So, it had to be someone else, or a close relative.

As he arced toward New York’s Fifth Avenue, Iron Man saw that the cause of this mass chaos was none other than…

“She-Hulk?! What the?!”

Down below his direct line of vision, the She-Hulk was cutting a major swath through midmorning traffic and causing sufficient damage to a skyscraper. Iron Man simply couldn’t believe his eyes and ears. He had to be dreaming but as he landed mere feet from her, the truth was only too evident. This was no dream. This was bittersweet reality.

“She-Hulk, I don’t know what’s got into you, lady, but you have got to stop this madness now before you hurt yourself!”

At the sound of his words, She-hulk turned around, stopping all of her devastation, facing the golden Avenger, with a look of pure, absolute hate written upon her face.

She frowned, revealing her teeth and drool escaping her mouth, yelling at the top of her lungs, "Kill! Kill you! I want to kill all that I hate!”

“You don’t want to do this, lady, believe me I know how you must feel," the iron clad Avenger said but his words were in vain, as the gamma-spawned giantess turned her anger and strength in his general direction. She lashed out at him violently, punching him this way and that. Before Iron Man knew what was happening, he was thrown into the skyscraper. Luckily, it was scheduled for demolition.

As he recovered from his recent attack, he analyzed the situation at hand. What he came up with was that his teammate was under the control of someone who could control emotions on a variety of levels. The most likely suspect was Mesmero, the villain that used to tussle with the X-men. Only one way to find out, he thought, as he prepared to renew his attack. I would have thought that She-hulk would be pounding on my face and other parts of my body, but no such luck. What gives?

Iron Man launched himself out of the abandoned skyscraper to find a startling surprise. As he thought that the Jade Avenger would be intent on killing him, she was doing nothing of the sort. She continued to hurt the citizens and the other buildings with her pounding fists and indomitable strength.

Iron Man’s first order of business was to prevent the people from being harmed by her maddened rage. So, against his better judgment, he released twin blasts of repulsor rays to knock her unconscious. It had little effect. What it did do, it appeared, was make the She-hulk more angry. And if she was anything like the Hulk…

So, it looked like I’ve distracted her for the moment, he mused, as he prepared for the retaliation, all I have to do is make sure she stays distracted and doesn’t harm the people. Yeh, the world is full of what is…

“You, Iron Man,” the She-Hulk commanded, as she neared him, fists clenched, “I hate you, all that you represent! I want to destroy you!”

Obviously, talking to her was getting him nowhere. So, it would have to be the option of dueling it out, like the Avengers are all too familiar with. I would have liked choice one, Iron Man mused, but beggars can’t choosers, I guess.

Now that her concentration was focused on the Golden Avenger, the She-Hulk lashed out with her fists, pounding again and again, harder and faster at his chestplate, hoping to cause permanent damage. Iron Man reeled backwards, knowing full well what damage to his armor could do to him, in ways of his health.

Before she could renew her attack, Iron Man punched her in the mouth, as hard as his strength would allow him. The She-Hulk, dazed and disoriented, released her hold him and Iron Man flew out of harm’s way. She recovered soon afterwards.

“Hate! Kill! Destroy!”

“I really hate to do this, Shulkie, but you leave me no choice.” With those words spoken, Iron Man fired a thin laser from his gauntlets at her, grazing her temple. The blow wouldn’t cause brain damage, but only knock her out.

Iron Man sighed, staring at the unconscious form of the She-Hulk. “Now, let’s see if I can undo what someone else has done.”

A lab in Avengers Manasion.

Until he worked his experiments, Iron Man had placed the maddened She-hulk in a chair with shackles on that would surely hold her until further notice. For the time being, he fired a laser on the inner workings of a bracelet.

“Okay, that should do it,” he said, shutting off the laser within his power gauntlets. “Now, let’s see if all my hard work can work wonders on your mind, Shulkster.”

“Hate! Kill! Destroy!” was all the She-hulk could make out at this moment.

Even though the task looked nigh impossible, Iron Man placed the bracelet upon her forehead and within moments, her maddened fury subsided, as she returned to her calm self.

“She-Hulk, are you okay?” he asked.

“Yeah, Iron Man, I think so. What happened?”

“As far as I can figure, a being of supreme empathic powers took control of your mind and forced you to go on a rampage like the Hulk used to do. At first, I thought it was that mutant, Mesmero, but now, I tend to think differently.”

“Then, who was it?” she asked, curious.

“The Hate Monger and his aide-in-crime, Psycho-man.”

“Yeesh. And I fell for their trap, right?”

Iron Man smiled. “Right. How would you like to cart those two villains over to the Vault?”

“Would I? But they could be anywhere within the city or another dimension right now.”

“Au contraire. The Psycho-man, being from another dimension, has a unique body signature and I’ve been spending the last few minutes tracking him. They’re holed up in the midtown district.”

“Then, let’s go.”

“My sentiments exactly.”

Iron Man knocked on the front door to the penthouse apartment. There was no answer.

That was very strange.

He tried the doorbell. He could hear the sound echo through the old apartment. There still was no answer. But, he could hear a shuffling of some kind within the apartment. He swore it.

He tried, again.

No answer.

He rang it for another five minutes, waiting about two minutes in between each ring. It frustrated him how this silence persisted.

He looked back at the She-Hulk. Jennifer had her arms at the back of her head and her eyes were shut. She is obviously taking a nap. How typical of her, after all that she’s been through lately.

Iron Man got ready to slam both of his fists against the door, when it opened, creaking a bit. He looked inside. It was pitch black. In the middle of the day, it was totally dark in there. That was even weirder than no one answering the door.

Again facing the door and gathering up all of his remaining strength, Iron Man enters the house.

The door slams shut behind him.

Silence reigns. Deep dark silence.

“Hello?! Anyone home?”

Something snarled above him.

The snarling grew louder.

Something pounced on top of Iron man. He struggled, but to no avail. The thing, for that is the only word to describe the creature, wrapped itself around Iron Man’s lithe body. With each passing second, it’s grip tightened.

They dropped, like one.

The thing hurled Iron Man to the furniture that was knocked over with a sudden thrust. It snarled creepily, as it shrugs off the pain from its back.

The room seems to get darker.

A foot crashes against Iron Man’s chest plate. He reels back and falls onto the couch. It consumes him.

He can feel the thing edging itself closer to him. “Stop it! Whatever you are, please stop it! Please!!”

Claw rake across the base of Iron Man’s helmet. The thing slings him over its shoulders and walks further into the house. Light shimmers in front of him.

A good light.

Hours later, Iron Man woke up, aches and pains all over his battle-wrenched body. Upon opening his eyes, he spied three forms standing near him, where once there were one. Two he recognized, the other, the final form, he knew to be totally new and different.

“So, Psychotic-man,” Iron Man said, mocking his foe’s real name, “ who’s Mister Sunshine?”

The Psycho-Man walked forward to get a closer view of the Avenger and said, “That is George Mann, a fellow we picked up when we first spied the She-hulk walking through town. Through both my and the Hatemonger’s powers, we have turned him into a psychotic monster. He is our protection in case you intend to attack us and I know you will.”

“Nice plan. I couldn’t think of a better one myself. But in case you were wondering, I have not come without reinforcements. So you might as well come quietly to the Vault.”

“Oh, you mean the She-hulk. She is no matter. We can turn her into a raving beast as we did before.”

“I think not,” he mumbled underneath his breath, as he heard the breaking of brick and mortar. Suddenly, a superhuman fist shot through the wall to the penthouse apartment and in burst the She-Hulk, ready for revenge.

“You take the Psycho-Man, I’ll handle the Hate monger. Avengers Assemble!”

Well, make that two Avengers, not much to assemble, Iron Man mused, as he turned his attention to the Psycho-man and the lunatic George Mann.

“Do your duty, George!”

Upon these words spoken, George Mann, now a slavering creature of the night, launched into another attack against the Golden Avenger. In terms of their physical strengths, George Mann and Tony Stark were just about equals, but equipped with his armor, Iron Man was the superior fighter. He would have to utilize cunning and his fighting prowess to incapacitate Mann.

This was easy for Iron Man. He guessed that the more that Mann focused his hate and rage on his foe, the more tired he got. He had to utilize this to defeat him. So, he simply punched him in the mouth, which distracted him, and used his repulsor rays to thrust him against the wall. The impact knocked him out.

Now, for the Psycho-man.

“You are under my control now,” the Psycho-man said, trying to mesmerize Iron Man. “You are filled with hate, hate for your fellow Avengers.”

“Better luck next time.”

“What?!”

“I rigged up a device, actually a headband, that disrupts your emotion-controlling powers. You’re going on a one way trip to the Vault.”

“You’re not going to get away this time, ‘Monger,” The She-hulk said, as she approached the villain. “Every time the Avengers or the Fantastic Four fought you, you’ve managed to get away. Either by morphing yourself into another person and spreading your hate to innocent people who have the hidden impulse for prejudice. Not this time!”

“You’re sadly mistaken, Shulkie, you’re feeling very hateful toward Iron Man again. He has wronged and you must right that wrong.”

The She-Hulk pointed to the headband she wore conveniently around her forehead. “Try again, mister. This thing I’m wearing is something that Iron Man rigged up to counteract your hate-producing powers. You along with your aide-de-camp, Psycho-Man. You’re finished, man!”

Cowering with fear, the Hate Monger had no time to react as the She-hulk socked him one in the mouth, sending the villain into unconsciousness.

“That looks like the end of that.”

Soon, the She-Hulk joined Iron Man in the other part of the penthouse apartment, carting off the two villains to the Vault for safe-keeping.

Send mail to: Gregg Epstein