Champions #22

"Ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to Death Valley! Our combatants are getting ready to battle for the title of the greatest fighter in the world! But first don't miss our pre-fight show. A half hour of the best..."

Captain America sits back in his chair while flying the Avengers' quinjet. "I can't believe those two are going to go through with this. It makes a mockery of everything we stand for. Glorifying violence like this makes me sick."

"So I take it you didn't put any money on this fight?" the Beast says with a big smile.

"Beast, must you always be so frivolous? Steve has a point here, but I disagree with him. A warriors strength and skill must be tested against worthy opponents. Thor and Hercules have few people with whom they can test their mettle." Namor says.

"So who'd you bet on, fishy?" Beast cracks.

"I didn't bet on...." Namor starts to say.

"Ignore him Namor. While I think this fight is a waste of time, I feel that we need to be there. This fight could be one large magnet for supervillains trying to make a name for themselves." Cap says with a note of disgust in his voice.

Switching scenes to the previous day in a courtroom in New York City. The trial of Ares has begun. The judge is telling the defense and the prosecution that the trial will start on Monday.

Ares smiles to his attorney.

"We will be finished with this case by Monday." Ares says.

"I must say you shouldn't be so confident. They have quite a bit of video footage of someone that looks just like you."

"Don't worry. Everything will work out fine. I will suffer this punishment for only as long as I must."

(For those of you who don't remember, Zeus decreed that Ares must be tried by the mortals for his crimes. See Champions #20 - Van-Delay)

Finally we shall turn our attention to the main characters in this title. Batroc, Black Widow, Diamondback, Firebird, and Hercules are all standing in the desert. A reporter and crew approach the team.

"Hercules, do you have a second? We would like a pre-fight interview."

"Most certainly." Hercules responds.

"What do you think your chances of winning are?"

"Bah! I shall crush Thor as I have done so often in the past!"

"Vegas has Thor as a 4 to 1 favorite. How does being the underdog make you feel?"

"Those base gamblers know not what I can do. The Lion of Mount Olympus shall crush Thor as easily as thy tabloid news would turn tragedy into ratings."

"Um... I think we have heard enough. Let's go talk to Thor."

Thor is sitting in a trailer watching the live interview with Hercules.

"Ha! Hercules hath made bold statements and hath put the newsmen in their place."

"Excuse me, Thor. Could we have an interview?" another reporter asks while standing at the trailer's door.

"Thou art most welcome to come in"

"What do you think your chances are against Hercules?"

"Hercules is a most worthy opponent. I look forward to meeting him in combat."

"Some reports suggest that Hercules is actually stronger than you. Is that right?"

"Hercules would thou believest that, but none are stronger than Thor. Hercules shall learn the folly of boasting when our battle begins."

Switching scenes again to a cave in the desert. A man is chained to a wall by yellow chains of energy. The room is dark and the figure is barely alive. Unable to move and underfed for months, the figure dreams of escape.

Back to our main characters. Hercules and Thor have entered the area designated for the battle. It is a wide open area so the cameras can catch the action when the bodies start flying. Captain America approaches the Champions. Batroc steps in between the good Captain and Rachel. Rachel uses the opportunity to move away from Captain America.

"How are zings, my good Capitan?"

"They're fine, Batroc. How are you?"

"Magnifique"

"I would like to talk to Diamondback if you don't mind."

"Oh, but Capitan, I am the much bettair converzationalizt."

Firebird follows Rachel. She puts her hand on Rachel's shoulder.

"Why did you leave when Captain America was trying to talk to you?"

"I still need to prove myself. Cap won't want anything to do with me until then. Heck, I could tell he was on his way to yell at me. Probably didn't like the way I fought against A.I.M. or something. No, I will meet with him on my terms when I am worthy of him."

"I think you are too hard on him. I think he just wants to see you again. But you must follow your own heart, even if it leads you into what looks like a mistake."

Back to Batroc and Captain America.

"So there I was, Black Widow eyeing me like ze great Tom Cruise and..."

"Enough Batroc." Natasha says. "I don't think Steve wants to hear about your adolescent fantasies."

"But you do, non?"

Natasha just shakes her head.

"Where is Scott?" Hank Pym asks.

"He had things to take care of." Natasha says, meanwhile she thinks to herself why would SHIELD request Scott for the mission and why didn't she question it more closely (To see what Ant-Man is up to check out Rampaging Hulk #8-11 - Van Handler).

The announcer of the fight steps into the center of the battle arena.

"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the fight of the century! In this corner we have....."

"Thou doth bore me! Hurry up with thy introductions!" Hercules growls.

"Um. Yes sir! Hercules and Thor. Have at thee!" After saying this the announcer wonders if thou or thy would have been more appropriate.

Thor and Hercules charge each other and exchange numerous blows with neither giving an inch.

"Wow! They can really take a hit." Firebird exclaims.

"If you think they can take punishment, you should see how much they can drink." Beast jokes.

"Zo Capitan, why are zese two brutes not using any of ze fine fighting techniques that you have taught zem."

Captain America sighs, "Batroc, I highly doubt that there is anything I could teach those two."

Batroc throws his hands in the air with disgust. "Mon Capitan, I could teach zem, zo you should be able to teach zem at least a few moves."

"Batroc!" Black Widow yells.

"Yes"

"Shut up!"

All of a sudden Hercules goes flying over head after taking a punch from Thor. Thor quickly follows.

"Thou hast gotten lucky, Thor. Now feel the wrath of the Lion of Mount Olympus."

As Thor approaches Hercules, Hercules punches Thor back over the crowd.

"It is thou who hast seen the luck my friend." Thor laughs as he leaps back at Hercules.

Let's change our focus from the fight to Diamondback and Firebird. Firebird is holding a crying Diamondback.

"Rachel, you are much too hard on yourself. Steve will love you for who you are not who you think he wants you to be."

"Firebird, I know you actually believe that, but as long as there is evil, I will always have to play second fiddle. If I can prove I am worthy to fight by his side, then he will be able to truly love me."

"Oh, Rachel. I hope you are careful with the direction that you will take in your attempts to win his favor."

"So do I. So do I." Rachel sobs.

Hercules lands right near Firebird and Diamondback.

"Hi ladies. I shall treat thee to a round of drinks at my victory celebration. Oooof!!"

Thor rams into Hercules. Both go off into the distance.

Below the spot where Hercules landed we see the spot where the chained figure was residing. That's right. Was. The figure is now gone. An A.I.M. agent is unconscious on the ground.

Back to the fight.

Hercules hits Thor. Thor looks staggered.

"Ha! I knew thou were not a match for me!"

Hercules approaches for the final blow. But before he can deliver it he realizes that Thor was just faking. Thor lands a solid blow to Hercules stomach. Hercules has the wind knocked out of him..

"Thou art not laughing now! Thor can not be best by one who wouldst fall for the oldest trick in the book."

Thor lifts Hercules over his head and throws him down into the ground.

Is the fight over? You'll have to wait. For now we must change the scene to a dark apartment in LA. A phone is ringing but no one is there to answer it so the answering machine picks it up.

"This is the Living Laser, I had to call you to warn you of a setup. If you get a call from...."

Whoops! Can't let you hear the rest of that call. So let's go back to the fight. Thor comes flying out of the hole in the ground that he made with Hercules' body.

"Thou sayest I am overconfident!? Thou thinkest thou canst beat me with a simple body slam?" Hercules roars as he climbs out of the ground.

"A simple body slam? He must have traveled about 2 football fields straight down." Beast says.

Back at A.I.M. headquarters in New York. A static filled message is coming through on the viewscreen.

"*Skzzt*.. Sir...he escaped..Skzzt" the A.I.M. agent on the screen says.

"What? How? And why is the reception so bad?"

"*Skzzt*..Thor and Hercules are fighting overhead....lost power...energy chains disabled..."

Ares walks into the room.

"Out of the way mortal. He can't have gotten far. His energy levels are too low." Ares states.

"That... *Skzzt*... were unable to drain his energy.... *Skzzt*...took the energy source....*Skzzt*" the agent is now crying.

"Then thou art naught but a bunch of failures." Ares then turns to his second in command. "Terminate the project."

"Shouldn't we look for him?" Ares' second in command asks.

"Not yet! He is too powerful to go after unprepared. But he is on a new world and will make a mistake. Then we will get him back. Now terminate the project!"

"*Skzzt*... No! Please! Noooooooooo! *Skzzt* oooooooooooo!"

The screaming is cut off.

Back to Death Valley. An explosion rocks the area where the fight was taking place.

"What was that?" Beast asks.

"Alright. Fights over. We have to make sure no one was hurt. Thor and Hercules! Make sure no one was caught under any rubble. Namor and Ms. Marvel, do a flyby to see if you can see anything from the air. Everyone else help the people who are here for the fight." Captain America orders.

The heroes start searching for survivors. Just then Whirlwind comes on the scene. He attacks Firebird and Diamondback.

Meanwhile in a research center in Phoenix. A six armed figure teleports in and kills two scientists and then takes what she came for.

Back to the desert. Whirlwind is being held aloft by Hercules and Thor.

"Where was my backup? I was promised backup."

"Thor, we shall have to have a rematch. Thou wouldst have lost if we were not interrupted by this lout."

"Ha! Thou art as funny as ever, friend." Thor responds.

A shadowy figure watches Whirlwinds plight on a viewscreen.

"Once again we have been able to attain that which we needed while sending a sacrificial lamb to the slaughter. How goes things with Diamondback?"

"Based on my reading of her, she will be most useful. If she brings the Champions to us, we can not lose."

"Do not get overconfident."

Next Issue: The Champions figure out where they are going to live. Plus more on our mysterious escapee and Diamondback's mysterious guest.