Previously: The Champions were heading home when they heard about the Silver Surfer in battle over a small town in California. While seeking to help the Surfer they discovered that he was battling a figure they had never seen before. A.I.M. started a battle to capture this figure who turned out to be Green Lantern. The Surfer later learned that he was mistaken to believe that this Hal Jordan was Parallax. Finally, Hal Jordan gave Fast Forward his memories back. So Fast Forward now remembers that he is Barry Allen, the Flash.
"What do you mean we can't go home?" Flash asks.
"I never said you both couldn't go home." Access responds.
"You just said 'You can't go home'" Barry Allen gets into Access' face.
"No. I said you can't go home. I came searching for Green Lantern so I could send him home. You however must stay here." Access backs away from the Flash.
"Who are you to decide who gets to go where?" Green Lantern asks.
"I've been given the job of protecting two realities from intermingling. If I don't send you back the two realities will be merged. I have to stop that from happening."
"If we're both from the other reality then why would you only send one of us back?" The Flash asks.
"I don't know what's happened to you Flash, but your body has the same natural frequency as this reality. If I send you back you will cause the two realities to merge. Green Lantern's ring, on the other hand, is artificially keeping his body's frequency in tune with this reality. If his ring loses power, both realities would be doomed. So I must send Green Lantern back, but you must stay."
"I don't like this one bit." The Flash storms around the area of the battle. "I can't believe this! I get my memories back and I can't go back to the people I care about! I'm still locked out of my life. What's the point of having the memories if they're only there to taunt me?
"We'll do whatever we can to help you get back home." Ant-Man says. "I'm a scientist and I have access, no pun intended, to some of the greatest minds on Earth. So we'll do what we can to help you." (Hey you didn't think only the DC characters were going to talk during this issue didja?)
"You seem to have things in hand. I must go now. Good luck in getting back home Green Lantern. I hope you are able to bring Parallax to justice." The Silver Surfer flies off.
"Shelton!! Thou hath failed me!" Ares, the God of War, is yelling at the viewscreen.
"Ares, sir, the Champions weren't supposed to show up and that blasted Surfer was there. What could we do? We were outmatched." Shelton says from out of the viewscreen.
"We must get the Green Lantern back. I'm sending thee our newly acquired field agents. Don't lose them."
"I'll do my best sir. Shelton out."
Cassie Lang is playing Tomb Raider 2 on the Playstation when she hears someone coming into the house.
"Cool. They're finally back." She thinks to herself as she approaches the front room.
"Well well well. What do we haff here, Zaran?" Machete' asks.
The Gatherer's Vision and Agent Shelton stand in a field about a mile away from where the Champions, Access, Green Lantern, and the Flash are standing. The Gatherer's Vision is not pleased and he is taking his frustration out on Shelton.
"I never signed up to take on all of those guys! I mean come on! Your A.I.M. agents are good against some heroes but these guys outclass us by a lot!" The Gatherer's Vision looks at what's left of the A.I.M. agents after their battle last issue. He is not impressed with what he sees.
"They're bringing in the new agents. Hopefully they'll help us turn the tide." Shelton says.
"You've got to be kidding me?! Those things couldn't stop you, much less the Champions! They're incompetent!"
"They only need to be a diversion while we get Green Lantern. We've got to hit and run. Now let's get these troops ready." Shelton moves towards the other agents and knows this isn't going to be easy.
"When this skirmish is over, I'm out of here for good! You guys healed me and I'm thankful, but I'm not staying around to be your lackey! My deal was to stop the Champions from getting here. I did that by crashing their Quinjet! You guys didn't get your part of the job done!" The Vision is yelling at no one in particular.
Let's turn our attention back to our heroes. And this time we'll actually let some of the Champions talk. Hey it's their book.
"I know you guys want to get home, but don't you think we should get out of here? A.I.M. could come back at anytime." Black Widow continues to watch for any indication of A.I.M.
"She is correct. We should either prepare for battle or head back to our... our... what does thou callst that house we reside in, Batroc?" Hercules asks.
"Eet eez a chateau, ov courze." Batroc smiles.
"I think he means, is it our headquarters or is it just a house to stay in?"
"Ah, Firebird, I would call eet our headquarters. But when we are alone eet could be whatevair you weesh."
Firebird gives Batroc a look of pity.
"Can we be serious for a little while? This is the most unprofessional group I've ever seen!" Scott Lang says.
"If you guys have somewhere for us to go, I say we head there now." The Flash says.
"I think it's a little late for that. Look over there!" Diamondback points to a cloud of dust on a nearby hill. The A.I.M. agents are coming and they are coming fast.
Let's switch scenes to an undisclosed location. Techno can be seen working on NM-E. Techno has been studying this robot since Zemo and him took the body (Champions #19 - Finally picking up a plot point Baloo).
A voice comes over the intercom: "Techno, how are you coming with that... thing."
"I think I'm finally finished Zemo. I'm going to test it soon."
"Don't be rash Techno. I know you're bored since my incident, but don't do anything foolish."
"Don't worry. With you.. recovering I've spent almost all of my free time with this thing. It has no real intelligence and I've disabled anything that might affect what I plan to do with it." (To see what happened to Zemo see Strange Tales #30)
"What about the one area you were having trouble with?" Zemo asks.
"It seems to be the area that houses it's survival functions. So it is almost impossible to kill. As long as that area is intact, it can absorb other mechanical or electrical items to rebuild itself. I'm not completely sure how it works, but my tests show it to be harmless."
"How confident are you in your tests?"
"Very confident." Techno looks very smug. "With this weapon, we'll be unstoppable."
"Good. When you are confident enough, start the project."
"I already have." Techno smiles.
Back to the action.
The A.I.M. agents are not doing well. However there is enough of them to keep the Champions busy.
"Why would they attack like this?" The Black Widow thinks to herself. "They know it's only a matter of time until we beat them."
Diamondback and Firebird are fighting back to back. Firebird is easily keeping the agents back. Diamondback is having a little more trouble. She knows that she'll tire soon. Even with her special diamonds she still has to physically fight off quite a few of the agents.
Meanwhile, Hercules and Batroc are having a ball. Hercules is clearing out the A.I.M. agents faster than they can come at him.
The Gatherer's Vision comes up from out of the ground right near Green Lantern. "Hi fella. You've been a bad boy and I'm taking you home to get spanked."
"What!?" Green Lantern turns his attention to the Vision. Unfortunately for Green Lantern that is exactly what A.I.M. wanted. Hal Jordan receives a yellow stun blast to the face. He goes down hard.
"Hal!!" The Flash runs to help Hal.
"Keep running at me, punk!" the Vision says. The Flash runs right at the Vision. The Vision goes to full density. With a smug look on his face, the Vision waits for impact knowing that the Flash will seriously hurt himself. The impact never comes. The Flash vibrates right through him. The Vision yells out in pain. Now he knows what it feels like to solidify his hand in someone. "You'll pay for that!"
A new group of A.I.M. agents come in to grab Hal Jordan's body. The Flash comes back around and starts to fight with the A.I.M. agents. The Vision uses his eyebeams to hit the Flash. He hits a few of the A.I.M. agents before he hits the Flash. "Now you're going to die! No one hurts me and gets away with it."
"You'll have to go through me first." Ant-Man grows in front of the Vision.
"Hahahahaha! You kiddin' me, small fry? What you gonna do, shrink on me? Get real and get out of my way."
"Have it your way." Ant-Man shoots a gas at the Vision. The Vision shrinks down to the size of an ant. Before he can react, Ant-Man steps on him. While he is still stunned, Cerberus bites the ground around him. The Gatherer's Vision and quite a bit of dirt are now on their way to the stomach of our three headed Hellhound.
"Good work Scott!" Hercules yells while getting the A.I.M. agents off of Hal Jordan.
Scott Lang, a.k.a. Ant-Man, thinks to himself "Oh gee thanks. So you don't think I'm totally incompetent." Scott Lang still seethes over Hercules' comment that he isn't man enough to date Natasha, better known as the Black Widow.
On a world far away from ours, the Badoon are hearing a sales pitch from the warden of one of their prison planets.
"We had the idea that could provide revenue for the Badoon Brotherhood while at the same time testing the strength of future slaves. We feel that the empire would enjoy watching the prisoners on this world fight for their lives. It would rid you of costly prisoners and provide entertainment revenue to your various war efforts."
"How would it test future slaves?" The Badoon government official asks.
"Simple. We could bring some members of a race that you haven't conquered yet here to compete in the contests. While enjoying their contests you could analyze the strengths and weaknesses of each race. The people would love it."
"This does sound good." The official says. "Right now this world simply houses various prisoners who will never leave this planet. Your world is populated by drunks and violent scum. This will improve your planet's standing. How soon can I see a practice run?"
"We are ready right now. Bring in the prisoners."
"When this test run is over, I wish to test some Earthlings. We had a failed mission there a few years ago (Silver Surfer Vol. 1 #2 - Living in the Baloo Age). We were not ready for them at that time, but we may be ready for them now."
(Side Note: This world is the world from Defenders #27-29. Of course that story tells what the future holds for this planet - Wulla Baloo)
Above the battle between the A.I.M. agents and the Champions a plane drops off three large individuals. These figures are flying down to the fight with the use of their jet-packs.
Diamondback looks up. "It can't be! Oh no! What are they doing here?"
Three large Chimpanzees land on the ground. Each of them wears a backpack.
"Hello Diamondback. This time we finish you off!" Bongo says. "Attack strategy Banana Delta!"
Bonzo, Jr. yells "Bongo! Your shoes are untied!"
Bongo looks down and Diamondback hits him with an explosive diamond. "Ouch! Our plan didn't work! Bonzo your shoes are untied!"
Bonzo, Jr. looks down. Diamondback throws a diamond that encases him in ice.
"She's too smart for us. How could she not look at our shoes when we yell they are untied? Even we look and we know the plan!" Bongo yells.
Cheetah, Jr. gets incredibly angry. "You won't beat us again! I'll reach into my banana pack and finish you off!!"
"With what? The banana seat? I'm real scared." Diamondback jumps to her left to get into position to get the advantage on Bongo.
"I, Cheetah, Jr. shall now hurl the banana seat at you." Cheetah throws what looks like an old bicycle seat at Diamondback. When it hits the ground it explodes. Diamondback is unable to avoid the explosion and is knocked unconscious. "Woo-hoo! I did it! I felled the witch who beat us!"
Firebird and the Black Widow see Rachel go down and immediately come over to help. "Bonita, clear a path to those monkeys." Firebird shoots flame from her fingertips and clears a path through the A.I.M. agents. Natasha wonders how much power Firebird really has and why she seems so reluctant to learn how to use it better.
The 20 foot chimpanzees see the Black Widow and Firebird coming.
"Prepare the Banana Split my friends" Bonzo Jr. says while using his jetpack to melt the last bit of ice on his legs.
Cheetah, Jr. and Bongo fire two objects that look just like a banana split. Firebird fires a blast at the objects and they instantaneously explode into large ice cones. The two cones entrap both Firebird and the Black Widow. The ice can't keep Firebird for long, but the Black Widow is down for the count.
"I think I shall have to teach you some manners!" Firebird yells as she explodes from the cone of ice.
"Guys! Do we have anything to deal with fire?" Bonzo, Jr. asks.
"Yeah! The Banana Peel!" Cheetah, Jr. yells. Bongo throws a banana peel into the air. As it moves towards Firebird it grows in size and it captures Firebird by enclosing around her. Her fire is unable to burn the peel. There is too much moisture and not enough air for her to keep the flames going. She loses consciousness while trying to escape.
"Base villains!" Hercules howls while he finishes off his last batch of agents. "Thou shalt feel the wrath of the Lion of Mount Olympus!"
"Bring it on blowhard!" Bongo says.
"Shouldn't that be Blowhardeus?" Bonzo, Jr. says. The three giant chimpanzees laugh.
"How dare thou mockest the Lion of Mount Olympus?!" Hercules is in a rage. Hercules charges the three chimpanzees.
WWWHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMM!!!!
Bongo flies out of sight from the blow. Let's just say he won't be getting up.
Bonzo, Jr. pulls an object out of his backpack and hurls it at the charging Hercules. Hercules steps on the object and slips. "Ah, a simple banana peel started the job that we're gonna finish."
Bonzo, Jr. and Cheetah, Jr. hit Hercules with fists covered with banana shaped adamantium knuckles. The prone Hercules doesn't stand a chance.
Let's go to the inside of Cerberus' stomach. The Gatherer's Vision is floating in the air above a pool of stomach acid. "I can't fly out of this body because of the damage I'll take by phasing through his body. Damn you Cerberus!!"
The Vision tries to fly back up the throat of the mighty beast. Hitting the walls of the esophagus causes him to cry out in pain. His whole side feels frozen. Intense pain racks his whole body. The Vision falls back into the stomach. Fortunately he stayed intangible so the stomach acid doesn't faze him.
"How am I going to get out here!? Damn you Cerberus!! There has to be a way out of here! Oh my God there is!! No this can't happen to me! I've got to find another way out!! I've got to!! Damn you Cerberus!!"
Ant-Man, Batroc and the Flash notice the beating that Hercules is being subjected to. The Flash races over to help him but slips on the banana peel on the ground. He flies off into some trees and has the wind knocked out of him.
Batroc and Ant-Man turn to take on the Chimpanzees when they notice they are surrounded by A.I.M. agents.
"Zees eez not good."
"You don't have to tell me twice, Batroc." Ant-Man says.
"Guys! I'll take care of the Chimps, you take care of the A.I.M. agents. I've got a small problem with yellow."
"Ze Green Lantairn was not hurt az bad az we thought. Go get zem, mon ami!"
Batroc and Ant-Man turn their attention back to the A.I.M. agents.
Green Lantern approaches the twenty foot chimps.
"Throw the banana bread!" Cheetah, Jr. yells.
Bonzo, Jr. throws what looks like a piece of banana bread at Green Lantern. Hal Jordan erects a shield to block the bread. The bread hits the shield and explodes into a yellow set of energy bands that fly through the shield and right at Hal Jordan. Before the bands can trap him, a diamond hits the bands and explodes. Hal is protected from the explosion by his ring, but the bands are destroyed.
"Thanks Diamondback!" Green Lantern smiles and waves at Diamondback. He's glad to see that she isn't hurt too bad. Two large green hands grab the heads of the two chimpanzees.
BOP!
Neither chimpanzee is conscious after their heads hit.
The fallen Champions slowly get to their feet. They are still surrounded by A.I.M. agents.
Back on the Badoon world we saw earlier in our story.
"In order to test Earthlings we must bring forth their mightiest heroes." The Badoon official claps his hands together. "Warden, would you be so kind?"
"Thank you for the honor, sir. I call forth Earth's mightiest champions for our first real contest."
Back on Earth.
"Lantern, I have to get you home. The Champions can take care of themselves now." Access looks around nervously. He doesn't like being anywhere near this battle.
"I can't leave until we find a way to send Barry home too."
"I can't send him back and you know it! It would be too dangerous!"
The A.I.M. agents close in on our heroes just as the heroes disappear.
"Oh dear!" Access looks around to see the Champions, the Flash, and Green Lantern are all gone. He is alone and surrounded by A.I.M. agents. "I'm out of here!" Access disappears.
"Where'd they go!?" Shelton yells
The Champions reappear in a the middle of a game show set.
"These are Earth's mightiest heroes?" The official asks skeptically.
Next Issue: The Champions are stuck in a game for their lives. Cassie finds
out how Machete' is alive. Techno moves closer to finalizing his
plans for NM-E. Don't miss this one folks.