"What!? Who!? Gow!!"

Avengers Mansion:

The Beast hangs from the doorframe as Jarvis opens the door to let him into the mansion. "Howdy, Jarvis! I see you still polish the top of your head."

"Sir, I did not expect to see you so soon." Jarvis lets the Beast bounce past him without showing any emotion. After all, Jarvis is used to the odd behavior of the Beast and as he follows him down the hallway he thinks, 'Bald jokes are so below him.', but being the ever faithful servant, he merely asks, "Is there anything I can help you with, sir?"

"Can you get me a date with Cindy Crawford?"

"Now sir..." Jarvis starts to say.

"Just teasin' ya, Jarvey old buddy. I'm working on a project with Hank Pym, and he sent me here to get a robot or armor or something like that."

"Oh! You must mean his Yellow Jacket armor.* I'll show you where it is."

*Jarvis saw the armor in the backup story from Avengers #425 - Backup Singer Baloo.

"That's gotta be it. Take me there Jarvey. Jarvey! Jarvey! Had a rabbit named Harvey!..." The Beast continues to bounce from wall to ceiling as he follows Jarvis down the hall.

45 minutes later at Avengers Mansion.

BEEP!! BEEP!! BEEP!! BEEP!!

Jarvis runs to the communications console to answer the distress call. Hank Pym is on the screen and the room behind him is trashed. "Jarvis, get the other Avengers on the double. My lab and my apartment were trashed while I was out. I think they may be looking for some of my old notes. I'll need help finding what they were looking for."

"Oh, dear! Would this work have anything to do the project that you are working on with Mr. McCoy?"

"I'm not working with Hank." Pym looks at Jarvis strangely.

"But, sir ... he came to get your Yellow Jacket armor earlier. Why would he do that if ..." Jarvis's face drained of blood, "...could that have been the Dark Beast?"

Hank Pym frowned deeply. "Jarvis, this could be bad. What would he need with my Yellow Jacket armor?"

On a plane heading west.

"Zemo! This is the Beast. I have the armor. The fools never expected that I wasn't their Hank McCoy. Idiots!" The Dark Beast leans back in his chair as Techno flies the plane. He thinks to himself that this reality is filled with morons. He was a scientist that was given free reign to experiment on anything and anyone he wanted to. But on this world, his research is limited to hideaways and backwater research stations. He is disgusted with the role of mutants on this Earth. On his Earth they had power and were feared. Here, they are just feared.

Nevada:

"Who was fighting?" Hyperion glowers at the Champions.

"Basically all of us and a bunch of A.I.M. agents." Natasha, the Black Widow, says.

"Why were you fighting each other?" Hyperion turns away from the Black Widow in a dismissive manner.

*See Champions Annual #1 - Baloo Faced Guardian

"Ah, it was a sweet battle indeed. Thy teammates fight like warriors of old. Though outnumbered and oftentimes at each others' throats, they fought valiantly." Hercules looks to the stars as if remembering battles of old.

"Except for ze fish man. He was no match for Batroc ze Lepair!"

"Come here you skinny little freak and I'll show you how well I fight." Amphibian tries to charge at Batroc, but the Whizzer and Dr. Spectrum hold him back.

"Let ze fillet o' fish go. I shall show him how a Frenchman batters the catch of the day." Batroc smiles to the ladies present.

"Ok, I've heard enough from the arrogant French guy, does anyone have anything constructive to add to this discussion?"

"I'd like to go home and check on my daughter." Scott Lang adds.

"I say we go to a bar and see if that Access guy comes back." Dr. Spectrum says. "That way Amphibian and Batroc can duke it out in pool or a game of darts. I'd really like to avoid more violence."

A Park in Downtown Phoenix:

The people who came to this park to relax for the day are finding just the opposite. Cybernetic animals are all over the park and they have guns.

"Humans! This is the day of the Cybernetic Animals!" A cybernetically enhanced giraffe with two grenade launchers yells as he fires at people fleeing from the beach.

A 30-foot tall, blue anteater is chasing little children in an attempt to suck them up through her enlarged mouth. "Come to mommy! Come to mommy! I just want to give y'all a kiss! Bwahahahahahaha!!"

On the other side of the park, another group of animals is terrorizing the citizenry of this western city. "Hey mates! Just call me the Two Gun Marsupial!!" A kangaroo fires two automatic laser guns into the crowd. A third laser turret pops out of her pouch to fire at anything that might try to go around to either side of the kangaroo.

An oversized platypus holds a man by the throat. "How does it feel to be the endangered species?" The platypus tosses the man into a tree. The man doesn't get up and is seriously hurt.

At a bar in Nevada:

"So Amphibian, shall I beat you in darts now? I can see zat ze game of pool is not your forte'." Batroc laughs.

"How about we bob for apples? I'll hold your head for you."

"Touché mon ami. Shall you buy me another drink? Ze losair must buy."

Amphibian can't believe he's starting to like this guy. It's nice to talk to someone who doesn't take everything seriously.

The other members of the two teams (The Squadron Supreme and the Champions) are sitting at a table. "So why do you guys put up with Batroc?" Hyperion asks.

"He's a good fighter and I think we must support his attempt to redeem himself." Firebird says. "Others at this table were once considered villains, and Batroc is more of a rogue than anything else."

"I basically thought he should get the same chance that Cap gave me." Diamondback adds.

"You mean the redemption part and not the dating part right?" Firebird smiles at Rachel.

"Of course... Oh you... I... Sometimes you're as bad as Batroc." Rachel blushes.

"Batroc deserves to be on the Champions. He has proven himself in righteous battle time and time again. I for one..."

"Enough Hercules. Hyperion, what will you do if Access doesn't come back to us? I'm pretty certain he won't." Tasha asks. She hasn't been this relaxed since starting the team. "The team did well against A.I.M., especially considering we were mentally manipulated." She thinks to herself.

"Do you guys mind if I head back to the house? I'd like to check on Cassie. I can take Cerberus with me. I don't think the bartender wants him here anyway. Especially after he ate the cue ball." Scott Lang puts his orange crush soda down and looks around the table.

"Thou wouldst miss my contest of strength with the one called Hyperion?" Hercules looks bewildered.

"What contest of strength?" Hyperion and many others at the table ask.

"Is it not apparent? As the two strongest members of our teams, it is our duty to do battle." Hercules looks at the people around the table in shock. How could they not realize this simple rule?

"You want to fight me? I've got a lot more powers than you do. You wouldn't stand a chance." Hyperion seems genuinely concerned.

"Oh no! You said the wrong thing!" Black Widow and the other Champions get up from the table and back away.

A voice can be heard from across the room. "Ah. I zee eet eez time for Hercules and Hyperion to do battle."

"Thou thinkest thou can best the Lion of Mount Olympus! I bested Thor in a combat that will go down in history! Thou art not the God of Thunder!" Hercules pounds his chest.

Scott Lang turns to Natasha and says "I'm not going home am I?" Natasha just shakes her head.

The owner of the bar comes over before the two can come to blows. "No fighting in here! If you want to fight, take it outside the bar! We don't allow none of that fighting at the Sneaky Reese!"

"What kind of bar does not allow fighting! This is outrageous!" Hercules is steaming mad.

"Um... guys. I know I'm new here and all, but couldn't you arm wrestle or something to see who's stronger? That way you'd do less damage and... and... the patrons could gamble on the outcome." Barry Allen can't believe he's seeing a superhero team like this. The JLA never would've had this problem, at least a line-up without Guy Gardner.

"What would a contest be without gambling? Thou art truly a worthy addition to our group."

"Worthy addition? When did I become a member of this team?" Barry Allen asks.

"If it will get this charade over with, let's go."

"Wait guys! Look at the news!" The TV screen shows the animals running rampant in the park. "I think we've got something more important to do. Champions! Let's move!" Black Widow waves the team out of the bar.

"We'll join you!" Dr. Spectrum says.

"We've dealt with these losers before. I think we can handle them pretty easily. They aren't the brightest bunch. Plus, after the battle's over, Hercules will start in right where he left off." Natasha smiles.

As they leave, Batroc kicks Amphibian lightly. "Take zat, mon ami." He smiles as he leaves. Amphibian laughs.

Outside the Sneaky Reese:

"Exactly how do we expect to get there? Our quinjet was ruined." Rachel looks at the others.

*Now if that isn't plot convenience, I don't know what is - The Baloo Rocket

"Scott, you can go home. The rest of us can handle these animals." Natasha pulls on her rocket pack.

"Thanks Tasha. I'm worried about Cassie. Do you want me to take Cerberus or do you want him to help you?" Scott points to the three-headed dog that is currently lying on its back getting a belly rub from Firebird.

"We'll take him with us. He listens to Batroc the best anyway." Natasha turns to the others. "Let's go!" The Champions take off with Hercules carrying Cerberus and Scott Lang heading in a different direction.

A Building Near the Park:

"Where are the superheroes? Our animals have been attacking civilians and police officers for over an hour now. We didn't build these creatures to waste them on regular people! Bring on the good guys, for crying out loud!" Dr. Plexico is extremely angry.

"Now, now good doctor. Isn't it kind of fun to see the power of our creations? They are destroying the police officers and they've injured and killed quite a few civilians. The noises that one made were quite amusing." Dr. Bousquet smiles while remembering the screams of pain.

"Too true. I haven't heard noises like that since we used chimps to determine pain thresholds. Ah, how limited we were." Dr. Plexico looks to the sky hoping to see some heroes.

"Yes. We limited ourselves to simple biological research. Once we moved to cybernetic research, we saw the wonders we could create. Of course those other fools in cybernetic research refuse to see our vision!"

"Fools! Look at the park to see how far we've come! Once our animals have destroyed the heroes who come to stop them, we'll start sending them against others in our field of study." Dr. Plexico continues to watch the sky. Dr. Bousquet watches the carnage in the park with a smile on his face. Both are surprised when their new benefactor walks in.

"Bloody 'ell!! When are the super 'eros gettin' 'ere!"

Both Dr. Plexico and Dr. Bousquet turn to face their fellow scientist. "Dr. Gow. How nice of you join us."

"Look you two, I spent plenty of... Ah, 'ere come some 'eroes now!" Dr. Gow smiles as he sees the Champions descend upon the park.

The Champions' House:

Scott Lang heads into the house that has been serving as the Champions base of operations. No one is home. While searching the house he finds a note 'Dad, I went to the movies with Machete' and Zaran. I'll be back by 6. I hope you are all right. Love Cassie.'

"Machete' and Zaran! My daughter is out with a bunch of criminals! Wait! Isn't Machete' dead? Is my daughter kidnapped? How do I go looking for her?" Scott Lang continues to think the worst even as we switch scenes.

On the way home from the theater:

"So that's why all those cops drove past us!" Cassie points to a dozen police cars stopped in front of a bank. "You guys going to help them?"

"Well, you're assuming we are heroes, non?" Machete' smiles at Cassie.

"But aren't you now?" Cassie asks. Zaran looks at his feet while Machete' looks uncomfortable.

"Let's just say we came to talk to Batroc about zomething. He'll be a deciding factor in our futair." Machete' looks at the bank. "I zink we can ztop zese bankrobbairs."

As Machete' and Zaran approach the bank, three police cars are thrown aside. A large man in an orange and blue suit runs past the other police cars with bags of money in his hands. Bullets are bouncing off of him without causing him any pain.

"Zut alors! What was I thinking?" Machete' and Zaran think about running, but they see the bankrobber will run right over Cassie if they don't change his direction.

Back in the Park:

"Batroc! I could use some help over here!" Diamondback is trapped between the giraffe and a seven-foot tall gecko with two pulse cannons. She drops to the ground and throws a diamond at the gecko.

"That wasn't very nice girly!" The gecko blasts the diamond before it can hit him. A wall of ice springs from the shattered diamond, but no damage is done to any of the combatants. "Jerry! Crush the diamond chick!"

"You got it Gecko-Tron! This girl will feel the wrath of a giraffe!!" Jerry the Giraffe fires his grenade launcher at Rachel. A red blur pulls Diamondback away from the explosion.

"Thanks Flash. I thought I was in a lot of trouble." Rachel smiles at Barry Allen as she throws another diamond at Gecko-Tron. This time the diamond hits him, and the explosion throws the oversized gecko into the air.

Batroc jumps onto the back of the giraffe and starts to punch the bipedal giraffe in the neck. "Get off me you human freak!" Jerry tries to grab Batroc, but our hero climbs up and down the neck of the giraffe to avoid his hands.

Meanwhile, Hercules is locked in hand to hand combat with an enhanced hippo. "Thou art no match for Hercules!"

"Bah! Puny human! I am the hippopaterminator. I can kill you with the mere flick of my wrist!" The hippopaterminator lands a punch to Hercules mid section that sends him flying. A tree stops Hercules' flight. As he shakes off the hit, he sees that the hippo, a wombat and a raccoon surround him.

"Need help Herc?" Firebird flies out of the sky shooting flame at the assembled beasts.

The Black Widow and Cerberus are easily beating the platypus. "How can a simple woman and deformed mutt defeat me? I am the Platypusinator! I am duck billed death incarnate!"

"Whatever!" Tasha kicks the annoying Platypusinator square in the bill and the cybernetic terror drops like a rock.

On the Rooftop Near the Park:

"What the 'ell? Our creatures are gettin' torn apart like the bloody royal family in the press." Dr. Gow is beside himself with rage.

"Dr. Plexico. I think it is time to release our secret weapon." Dr. Bousquet rubs his hands together in glee.

"Why yes. I do think it is time to release the Beaver Grendel." Both doctors laugh. "Bwahahahahahahahaha!!"

"Enough wit' the bloody laughing. Just release the monster!" Dr. Gow stares at the other two doctors.

"You need some further lessons in being an evil scientist, Dr. Gow." Dr. Plexico smiles at Dr. Bousquet.

"He's right. First, you must laugh when you put a new part of your plan into motion."

"Why?" Dr. Gow is completely confused by the two men standing in front of him.

"Don't question the rules! Just follow them. I think an adjective before your name might help get you into the spirit of evil doctory." Dr. Plexico wonders if doctory is a real word, but doesn't let on to the others.

"Dr. Plexico, as always, has hit the nail on the head. I think from now on we'll call you the Insidious Dr. Gow." Dr. Bousquet once again starts to laugh. Dr. Plexico joins in.

"You know I kind of like that name." Dr. Gow now starts to laugh. "You bloody yanks were right. Laughing does 'elp."

"Now shall we release the Beaver Grendels?" All three doctors start to laugh.

In a Secret Hideout (Where? Can't tell you it's a secret):

Baron Zemo walks into a room filled with the Gatherers' Vision, the Dark Beast, Techno and a man wearing the stolen Yellow Jacket armor. "Does the armor work?"

"Everything checks out. The Beast and I have run a variety of tests and everything seems fine now that we've overcome the failsafes. It's much more powerful than we originally thought." Techno looks at the armor with respect. "Pym may have snapped when he made this thing, but he sure did a bang up job on it."

Zemo turns to the man in the armor. "Kell Carpenter, you are now a member of the Masters of Evil. Are you ready to obey my every command?"

"I've been following your commands for years now, sir."

"Good. From this point forward you will be known as Vespid. We must work on new names for the Vision and the Beast as well. I refuse to have any confusion when we battle the Avengers or their allies. Our next step will be to eliminate the upstart Masters that recently fought the West Coast Avengers. In order to do that, we'll need our final member."