"Enter the Beaver Grendel"

"Gentlemen, let me introduce the Beaver Grendel!!" Dr. Gow yells to his colleagues.

"Oh come on, you can do better than that." The short bald scientist named Dr. Bousquet says. "How about holding your arms above your head. And put more emotion into it."

"That's a bloody good idea! I'll do that."

"Hey, you also didn't laugh. Did you forget your last lesson?"* Rubbing his goatee, Dr. Plexico stands looking at Dr. Gow in thought. "If you can't get the evil laugh down then I'm not sure we can keep you around."

*They taught the Insidious Dr. Gow to laugh last issue - Baloo in the Face

"Well, if you're going to be 'ell bent on the evil laughing, then I'll bloody evil laugh my arse off." The evil Englishman stomps back to his spot. He turns towards the wall and composes his features and then turns to his colleagues with his hands above his head.

"Enter the Beaver Grendel!! Bwahahahahahahahahahaha!!"

The other two doctors start to clap their hands and both start say "Bravo! Bravo! You da man!"

From behind Dr. Gow, a 15-foot Bipedal Beaver steps out of the darkness. He has a plethora of guns and a tank of rocket fuel on his back. The computer components can be seen going in and out of his body. "So when do I get to beat those little rascals in the park? I need a break from reading up on quantum physics."

"I'd say you can go now, wouldn't you Dr. Gow? Dr. Bousquet?"

"Wot the 'ell? I think 'e's ready."

"Me too. I do think that we should act as announcers for this event though. I mean this creature is our greatest creation. He even looks a little like me." Dr. Bousquet smiles with pride.

"Are you daft? 'e looks like me." Dr. Gow stands with his profile to the Beaver Grendel.

"We can argue who he looks like later. Right now we need to secure our announcers booth." Dr. Plexico runs past the other two scientists on his way out to the street.

In the Park:

The Champions are finishing off the last of the animals. Jerry the Giraffe is having trouble fighting the heroes because Batroc is hanging on to his neck. Whenever Jerry tries to grab him, Batroc climbs up, or down, his neck to get away. A quick kick here and a swift punch there are starting to bother Jerry. "I can't lose to you guys. I'm an enhanced giraffe. We're the scariest wild animals ever seen."

The Flash and Diamondback stand before Jerry and are deciding how to finish this fight. Diamondback reaches into a pouch attached to her belt and throws a diamond at the giraffe's legs. "I wonder what this will do."*

*Diamondback received a pouch of special diamonds from Zeus for saving his son, Hercules - See Champions #19

The diamond explodes at the feet of the giraffe and ice surrounds Jerry's legs. "No I can't be beat like this! I'll... Ouch!!" The Flash lands a plethora of high-speed punches to the giraffe. Jerry the Giraffe is down for the count.

In another part of the park, Hercules and Firebird are fighting the Hippopaterminator, the Wombat-tler, and Rambo Raccoon. Hercules lands a punch to the Hippopaterminator's stomach. As the monstrosity falls to one knee, Hercules starts his punch for his foe's head. The Wombat-tler fires his flame-thrower into Hercules' eyes. "Base fiend!!"

Fire surrounds the Wombat-tler. When he looks to the sky, he sees Firebird shooting flame into a circle around him. "Your fire could hurt someone. Turn it off!"

"You think that will work?" Firebird lets loose with a blast of flame.

"Yikes!!" The Wombat-tler knows he needs a new plan. "Hey, there's someone behind you."

Firebird doesn't even turn. "You think I'm going to fall for that old trick?"

"I was hoping." Our villain shrugs. He sees movement out of the side of his eye and when he turns to look, Hercules' fist lands squarely in his face.

Rambo fires his machine gun at Hercules. The gun has no effect on him. Firebird then proceeds to melt the gun and then hits the raccoon with flame and that's it for Rambo.

The hippo starts to stand. "I'm enough to finish you bums!" Flame slams him from behind. As the hippo falls forward Hercules throws a punch that knocks the Hippopaterminator unconscious.

Outside of the Park:

"The city of Phoenix was besieged today by a group of bipedal animals with guns. The Champions are tying the animals up now. If not for their heroic deeds the death toll would have been much higher than it was." Lonni Holland speaks into the news camera. She thinks to herself, "If the damage had been worse, I could’ve made the national news."

The camera shifts away from Lonni. "We'll see if we can get an interview with one of the heroes." The reporter continues to talk as she tries to stay in front of the camera. She isn't pleased that the cameraman is moving her out of the view of the camera.

A voice can be heard behind Ms. Holland, "Just place that desk right here. We should be able to get a good view of things from here."

"As usual you have the brilliance to pick just the right spot."

"Dr. Bousquet, may I be the one to get me hands on that bleedin' camera?"

"Of course. For you are the Insidious Dr. Gow." Dr. Bousquet smiles into the camera and waves.

"You can't take our camera!" Lonni gets between the Insidious Dr. Gow and the cameraman.

"Like bloody 'ell I can't you bloody witch!" Dr. Gow reaches into his coat and pulls out a gun.

BLAM!!

"Mr. Cameraman, would you like to fight over whether I can take your camera?" Dr. Gow steps over the corpse of Ms. Holland. The camera is handed over.

The Beaver Grendel has put a desk down in the middle of the sidewalk just outside the park. "Is this where you gentlemen would like the desk?"

"Yes, now we will have a good view. Between this desk and the camera the Insidious Dr. Gow has just obtained, we shall be able to do this fight justice. Or should I say, injustice?" Dr. Plexico smiles. He's never been the announcer for one of his schemes.

Dr. Bousquet walks to the desk and sits beside Dr. Plexico. "Shall we say it together?"

"Of course." Dr. Plexico starts to laugh.

"Ladies and gentlemen of Phoenix, we'd like to introduce to you the ultimate weapon of devastation, the Beaver Grendel! Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!"

Back at the Champions' House:

Scott Lang, aka Ant-Man, storms around the living room. He's livid that his daughter has gone out with two assassins, Machete' and Zaran. "Should I leave to see if they're ok? If I leave and they come back... That's assuming they come back." While Scott paces around the room the television catches his eye.

"The First National Bank was just robbed by a large man in a costume. We haven't been able to determine just who this man is, but as soon as we know, we'll let you know." The reporter on TV is standing in front of a cop car. In the background, Scott Lang, can see Machete' and Zaran standing in front of a very large man in a very ugly orange and blue suit.

"Oh dear God! Cassie!" Scott Lang runs out the door.

At the First National Bank:

"Listen here man. Zis job eez below you." Machete' says.

"Listen pal. Just get out of my way. I don't want to hurt you, but I will."

"Now calm down pal. Machete' and I are just trying to stop you from making a big mistake." Zaran keeps himself between Cassie and the large man.

"The only mistake I see is you two bozos standing in my way."

"Zut alors! You keep making one mistake aftair ze othair." Machete' smiles at the man in the unattractive suit.

"Name me one!"

"First off, you haven't given your supervillain name yet. How are we supposed to fear you if you refuse to tell us who to fear?"

"I don't have a name. I'm wearing this costume so no one will recognize me. Why the Hell would I want to be recognized!? Plus, I don't care if you fear me!"

"Sheesh! You do not get eet! We don't need your real name." Machete' smacks his head. "Are you az ztoopid az you zound?"

"Don't call me stupid you goofy..."

"So what is your name?" Zaran smiles. This is going just as they hoped.

"I'm the Orange Bull!"

"Zat eez ze worst name I haff evair heard." Machete' and Zaran start to laugh.

"So you are the Orange Bull? <chuckle> We have the name out of the way, but what is your scheme?" Zaran is still chuckling and Machete' can barely stand up.

"What's it to you?"

"We are members of Batroc's Brigade and we don't like supervillains who would ruin the name of villains everywhere. You must have a plan for that money."

"Uhm. No actually I just wanted the money."

Slamming his fist into his hand, Zaran scowls at the Orange Bull. "I can not allow this! Put the money back! Put it back now! Go home and come up with a scheme and then come back and rob the bank! Are you really that foolish?"

"I'm not returning the money!"

"You sure are! Simple bank robbery is below a man of your talents! You have to set goals! What kind of role model will you be for future supervillains with super strength and invulnerability?"

"I don't want to be a role model. I just want some money."

"Bah! You just don't get it! Whether or not you want to be a role model is irrelevant. You will be one to upcoming youngsters with similar powers. What would happen if they all waste their talents on simple crimes like bank robbery? You make me sick! Go home and get a plan! Or we'll have to hurt you really bad!"

The moneybags hit the ground. The Orange Bull turns away from Machete' and Zaran and heads off into the distance. "I'll do my best to come up with a plan. It'll be big! I promise you that!" Tears roll down the orange and blue mask.

"Get yourself a bettair coztume!" Machete' yells after him. He then turns to Zaran and whispers "I can't believe that worked. He would've crushed us."

"You don't have to tell me. Fortunately, these big, strong guys tend to be really dumb and gullible."

A teenaged girl runs up to our two heroes(?) "You guys saved everyone. And you didn't have to throw a punch!"

"They might have to now!" Scott Lang flies in on an ant.

Back at the Park:

Dr. Plexico and Dr. Bousquet are behind a desk in the middle of the sidewalk.

"Here we are live from some park in downtown Phoenix! The main event in tonight's matchup is the greatest monster this putrid city has ever seen! He is none other than the Beaver Grendel! He has everything you could desire in a contender! Speed! Power! Strength! Agility! And a very nice smile to boot!"

"Dr. Plexico, once again you don't let your emotions get in the way of your announcing. The Grendel Beaver is one bad dude with an attitude. He faces off tonight in a handicap match. His opponents are a rag tag crew of losers, degenerates, and dimwits!"

Dr. Plexico interrupts "And that's just what their momma's told us."

"Ooooh! That was cold! True, but cold! This band of mentally challenged, wannabe heroes call themselves the Champions! The Champions of what, I'm just not sure!"

"Dr. Bousquet, I think they call themselves that to help their self-esteem. Wouldn't want to call themselves the has-beens, even if that is more appropriate."

"Too true, my good friend. Ooooh! Look! The Beaver Grendel is approaching the Champions as we speak! Have I mentioned that the Black Widow has reportedly dated every costumed hero in existence?"

"No you haven't. I was going to let the fans know about that myself, but I wanted to mention that Hercules scored lower than any other hero on the Avengers' IQ test! He was 25 points below the Hulk."

"Yes Dr. Plexico, that is true. The sad part is, he took the test before Goliath, or whatever he called himself, kicked him in the head."* Both Doctors start to laugh.

*Hercules received brain damage during the Siege of the Mansion storyline - Baloo Bayou

Our newest villain reaches the Champions in the park. "I must say that you fellows don't seem to be all that special." The Beaver Grendel continues to look them over. "But I won't underestimate you folks. Put up your dukes!"

While the Grendel gets into boxing position the Champions just stare at him. "Um. You want to fight all of us?" Barry Allen looks at this creature and can't believe what he sees. The creature is covered in armor and weapons of all sorts.

"I dare say, are you chicken? Let's get this jolly romp over with. I'd like to get back to my textbooks and model rockets." A rocket flies from his right arm, right at Batroc. Batroc leaps out of the way but the explosion knocks him and Diamondback to the ground.

"Did you see that surprise move! A rocket that takes out two of the Champions!" Dr. Plexico is yelling into his microphone.

"A very good shot. Too bad it was the two weakest members, but at least they won't be able to annoy him." Dr. Bousquet smiles with glee.

Hercules races up to hit the Beaver Grendel, but he's too slow for this monstrosity. A quick slap of his right hand knocks Hercules backwards. A barrage of rockets follows him through the air.

BOOOM!!

"This isn't going good. Flash and Firebird try to flank him. I'll keep his attention." With a quick step to her left, the beautiful Black Widow, starts to charge at our big, hairy villain.

"You can't hurt me. But that speedster and firebird sure can." The Beaver Grendel ignores Tasha and turns to fire at Firebird. The Flash speeds by and lands a few high-speed blows to the Grendel's back. "That's it, time for me to go on speed. Otherwise I'll never keep up with that crimson dynamo." He pushes a button on his sleeve and a fluid runs from the device on his back into his body. "Whoa dude! This is like incredible. FWhooaaa!!" A brown streak follows the Flash. Barry Allen sees the creature running at full speed.

"Natasha trip him up!" The Widow fires a line from her wrist that catches a tree. She holds the line at knee level. The Flash hops over the tripwire, but the Beaver Grendel isn't so lucky. He trips and falls flat on his face. Before he can get up, the Flash has disconnected most of the wires that lead to his body. Firebird melts the guns on his wrist.

"Thought I couldn't beat you, huh?" Tasha smiles at the big creature.

"Lady, ffwhoah! I'm still feelin' too good to care!"

"I can't believe they cheated like that! That is so unfair! First they hit him in the back! Then they have the audacity to disconnect vital wires while he's down! I say that was a cheap victory for the Champions and they should probably be disqualified! Boo!! Boo!!"

"Dr. Plexico is absolutely correct, ladies and gentlemen. I say poor form to those so-called heroes. Hey pick that camera back up!"

"Are you bleedin' crazy!? The coppers'll be 'ere any minute now! We've got to run for our bloody lives, we do!" The Insidious Dr. Gow is hopping up and down in anger.

"Are you nuts? We want to get caught." Dr. Plexico looks over at Dr. Bousquet, who is nodding his head up and down in agreement.

"Wot? Are ye both daft?"

"Mad scientists need to go to jail. Where else do you have the time to think all day about your next scheme?" Dr. Bousquet is clearly befuddled by the Insidious Dr. Gow's response.

"Wot?"

"As evil scientists, jail is the best place in the world to plan for your next adventure. Limited television viewing, a set schedule and other factors that make you organize your time. When there's nothing to do, all you can do is think. So we think about our next plan, our next experiment, or who we're going to try and kill next." Dr. Plexico looks at the Insidious Dr. Gow like he's but a child.

"You act like you want to get caught?"

"Dr. Gow, of course we want to get caught. The publicity from the trial and then the time spent thinking up the next plot are what we look forward to."

"Dr. Plexico, I can't believe my ears. You are both bloody crazy!"

"That would be why we're mad scientists, wouldn't it?" All three start to laugh as the cops come up to lead them away.

In Some Secret Place I Can't Disclose:

Vespid, the man in the Yellow Jacket armor that was stolen from Avengers Mansion*, stands beside Zemo. "Sir, all is ready for our attack. The Crimson Cowl and her band of fools shall be going after the West Coast Avengers very soon."

*The Dark Beast stole the armor last issue from Avengers Mansion - Cat Burglar Baloo

"Good. When they are tired from the fight, we shall destroy them!" Zemo smiles under his mask. The Crimson Cowl shall pay for starting an upstart group of the Masters of Evil. Zemo thinks of this group as an insult to his father, the man who created the first group to carry the name the Masters of Evil.

The Dark Beast and the Gatherers' Vision walk into the room and stand in front of Zemo. Zemo turns to them, "Kreature and Eidolon, have you made contact?"*

The Dark Beast, who is once again calling himself Kreature, smiles at Zemo. "She has been contacted and everything is set."

"Fine. Get on with your other duties, for tomorrow we strike!" Kreature and Eidolon leave the room. Zemo sits in his chair in silence, pondering his plans. With his back to the shadows, Zemo says "You may come out now."

A female walks out of the shadows. "Baron, I am here to serve."